• by Z


I am a poor boy too…I have no gift to bring pa-rum-pa-pum-pum…how does it go?

Oh man, that song is so annoying and it’s been stuck in my head for the past week! It’s just that so many artists cover it in their holiday albums, did you know Whitney Houston made a Christmas album? It’s great, check it out if you can.

You know I have a big suspicion that my mail lady likes me, and I know what you might be thinking - “Z get over yourself” but I swear on Shiva that I think she’s into me. How would I know? One just knows these things, and I think she’s crushing on me hard, past the point of no return…ok I’m overdoing it now. You know I’ve thought about it before, sure I have, what if I dated a girl and stuff like that, but I just love men too much. She’s very pretty but I’m just not into women, maybe is she didn’t look so much like a female, and maybe if she had a penis and a beard and a lot of hair everywhere...then I guess I wouldn’t be against it.


Ok well I just wanted to get that off my chest, what else, hmm that’s it. That’s literally it, that’s all the “excitement” in my life right now- the make-believe ‘ship between me and the mail woman in my head. Geez.

Anyway, I hope everyone’s enjoying the holiday season and stuff. I don’t really have any plans for Christmas or anything, because I don’t celebrate Christmas or Thanksgiving or any other holiday really now that I think of it - how sad, but really I don’t care for them. Wait, maybe I do celebrate them in my own way kinda. I mean, I’ll decorate my apt a little, and I’ll listen to holiday music, and I like wearing sweaters a lot, and I like watching Christmas movies, and I love hot chocolate… hmm, I think I’m going to count that as celebrating. Although I have to say it does take a whole lot of Christmas movies and hot chocolate to get me in the holiday spirit, and now that I think of it a lot of these Christmas movies, specially the made-for-tv ones, are...how do I say this...stupid. Yeah, stupid, and completely ridiculous romance stories about some girl who falls in love with some (super papito) guy during the holiday season. Gimme a break... nah, I like the Grinch and I recently saw one that was interesting called "Rare Exports." It's a foreign film about Santa Claus, I thought it was good, just don't watch it with your kids though ok.

In conclusion. I love saying that, “in conclusion,” it feels like - in conclusion. Self explanatory I guess. *Ehem* - I hope you have a very merry Christmas and a happy New Years, and if you’re going to spend time with your family for the holidays I wish you well and I hope you have lots of fun. Just promise me you won’t get too drunk on spiced eggnog and start dialing your exes, that’s just embarrassing, I know I’ve never called- while drunk, I’ve always been sober, and it was still embarrassing.

Oh and here's a picture of me in my Megadeth "Countdown to Christmas" sweater 🤘