🐉A Bad Dragon🐉

You know that feeling you get after you've gone out running, or exercising? That *refreshed* feeling? Ahhh It’s so nice.

I finally went out for a run after not going for almost three weeks, It was awesome. The best thing was that, as I was running, everyone else just kept getting out of my way. I thought -for real? Finally! I have the sidewalk all to myself muahahahaha!-

This is what Brickell is all about, owning the sidewalk and not letting anyone else walk on it, and finally it was my turn to have it! Of course it wasn’t that people were just being extremely polite. They were, of course, all trying to abide to social distancing (“Duhh obviously Z, Duuuhh”)

Yep, obviously huh

It’s just awful, and it makes me terribly sad that people are keeping so far away (rightly so), but I just wish things went back to normal (except for the sidewalk thing, I love that, let’s keep that).

I miss the hugs and the kisses 😭 oh how I miss them and long for them. I was so used to everyone wanting to hug and kiss each other all the time, but now no one wants to come near me. Just nobody, it’s unbelievable. My friends and acquaintances even, when I see them it’s like we have to keep about ten feet away from each other and it’s awkward, because where’s the kiss and the hug? Do we text it to each other? Do you show me your corona test and I show you mine, and we go from there? Umm, do I just blow you a kiss from here? - ‘cause I have a mask on so there’s a chance you won’t get it.

*sigh* well that’s just how things are now, and we all have to tough it out still. Incidentally, I finally got to take my corona antibody test, and it was positive for antibodies. Which was a relief to know, because I knew I had more than a cold back in March, and of course I was responsible and stayed in quarantine all of March, April, May, and the beginning of June. Unfortunately now even my family is treating me like a rabid-zombie-leper or something, they think “antibodies” are contagious for some reason, and they want nothing to do with me. So I tell ‘em -What do you want me to do? just shoot myself? Is there some kind of corona-club I can join where people like me, who have been shunned by their family and friends, go to decide whether or not to shoot themselves?- 🧐 I’ll look into that I guess

Pffft

Anyway as if things weren’t already bad, and shitty, and -what’s worse than “shitty”?- just shitty ok. Well my umm… thing broke, you know the thing...

Wow it’s really hard to write it now that I’m attempting to, ok - the thing that ummm…vibrates and stuff, and is in the shape of a phallus. You catch my drift? Yeah well that thing broke, and I was despondent of course. Luckily you can just buy these things on the internet, and within a few days I had a new thing, and so I am happy again lol, but that’s not what I wanted to say really. While I was searching for a new “thing-toy-thing” I found many toy-websites and whatnot, and they all had really interesting stuff you know, but what I found to be of most interest wasn’t really the “toys” or whatever, it was the reviews.

Oh lord, talk about TMI. Those reviews I swear -

For instance, there was this review of a -EHEM- -EHEM- -EHEM- … a butt plug, and the reviewer was pretty much saying how awesome and comfortable it was, specially for “long-term” wear.

I thought -that’s strange. How long do they plan on wearing it for I wonder?-

Oh my naive mind. Well I kept on reading and there were more and more reviews very similar to that, in regards to “long-term wear,” and finally I was bumping into reviewers saying they were wearing it at work, at the office, etc. WTF!!!! Wow, people are wild. I mean how will I get that out of my head now? In the future when things open up, I'll constantly be wondering who's wearing a butt plug to work. If I were to go to a restaurant, a spa, gym, salon, etc. it's just gonna be on my mind. OMG Is the UPS guy wearing one too?! Seriously, is he? Oh that elusive UPS man, with his short shorts, and his- Anyways! Just imagine now, going in to the office, or a meeting and someone starting with -

“Alright good morning everyone, before we start this meeting let’s see who wants to share that they’re wearing a butt plug today? Come on hands up don’t be shy. Ok, one..two..three, just three, well four, including myself (casual laughter) Alright then let’s begin this briefing….”

Oh my god, what things have I gotten into my head now. My mind is sick, disturbed, weird, no - crazy. Oh why me?

Yep I've lost it, you know how I know? Because there was one website that blew all of the others out of the water- Bad-Dragon.com

At first sight, I believed it was like a joke or something -Who, just who, would get any of these kinds of toys- I thought. They’re just crazy! Most of them are dragon shaped d***s, and the others look like weapons of mass destruction! I mean no, just - NO - no no no no no no no no no.

NO

No, I wouldn’t get one, pfft I’m not that crazy, no definitely not. No

-Well lemme see them again, hmmm. This one, yeah this one is kinda nice I think, this one over here too, they’re all growing on me yeah, yeah. Yeah I think I love this one actually. Yep this is the one. Alright, I guess I’m getting it then. Wow, it’s all just happening so fast, but here we go here we go-

And the rest is history ❤️ Oh and the company even sent me a little Bad Dragon sticker. How cute, I love stickers